


Heart and Resolve

by razzberry



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Manipulation, F/F, Obsessive Behavior, Tragedy, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-07-17 05:37:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16089155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/razzberry/pseuds/razzberry
Summary: Birthright divergence. Camilla takes matters into her own hands once she realizes that Nohr will inevitably lose the war, and that her world will fall apart.





	Heart and Resolve

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you have a stress ball and some tissues

Nohr would lose the war.

It was inevitable, now. She knew it. Xander knew it. She could hear it in his voice when he spoke to her and Leo about their next moves. He did it out of a sense of duty to his kingdom. He had no other choice. If Xander gave up on the people of Nohr, then they would be left with no one. He could not afford to give up.

Even so, it didn’t change the fact that Nohr would lose. The troops were few and exhausted. Morale was low. Supplies were all but gone. Their cause was beyond salvaging. In a matter of weeks, or even days, Corrin and her Hoshidan army would infiltrate the capital, and kill her father. In fact, it was likely that she and her siblings would be killed, too.

...No. Perish the thought.

She would never allow herself to be killed at the filthy hands of a Hoshidan. If nothing else, she still had her dignity left in her.

For many days now, she had refused when Selena knocked on the door to her quarters offering tea, and comfort. She had made it very clear to those around her that she was not to be spoken to unless absolutely necessary.

She spent her hours in her room, staring out of her window at the black emptiness before her. At night, she would look at the moon for hours at a time, just thinking.

She knew what she had to do. She had known it for a while. Still it didn’t stop her from playing out the scene in her head, over and over again. It was all she did, nowadays. Imagine that future. Her future. If all else had been stripped from her, then she would at least have that much.

It was all for naught. Everything she fought her, all her life, for naught. She could not save her family. She could not give a better life to the people of her kingdom.

She could not protect Corrin.

She thought she had done so. She thought she had protected her. Thought she had given her all of her love. That she had made her happy. That she had given her a home.

But she’d been wrong.

Corrin did not choose Nohr. She did not choose her.

And now she was out there, murdering the people of her beloved kingdom, and closing in on the capital with the intent of capturing it with her forces. Her Hoshidan forces.

There was a time when she’d wondered where she went wrong. Wondered what she could have done to have prevent this, all of this. Wondered if she should have taken Corrin back by force, that day at the border. If even before that, she should have locked her away in some place where nobody would try to take her away again.

Such thoughts were pointless, though. It was too late now. Now, she had no choice but to rectify her mistakes. She had not been good enough then, and she was not good enough now, but she could something about it. It was her only choice. 

It was a silent, foggy night when she left the castle at an hour when almost all others were asleep. She did not tell any of her siblings. She did not tell her retainers, did not even dress in her battle armor. Instead, she kept the casual linen dress she was wearing, and headed quietly to the stables.

She smiled and petted at Marzia. She whispered in the beast’s ear that they would be flying to Hoshido. Within a fleeting minute, they had taken to the skies, and she did not look back.

It was not difficult to find the place where Corrin and her forces had made camp. Such idiotic little insects they were, making themselves so easy to track down. She told herself as much, even if on the inside, she knew that her heart would always lead her to Corrin, now matter how far or well hidden she may be.

She ordered Marzia to land. She dismounted, and looked into the gleaming red eyes of the dragon. “Stay here, my beloved,” she whispered. Marzia gave a low growl of acknowledgement.

She walked in the dark toward the camp. Naturally, the spies noticed her presence. She could hear their sneaking around. A short distance in front of her, light from torches lit up and moved within the camp.  


* * *

 

Outside of her sight and hearing, Kagero quickly appeared, kneeling before Corrin. “I have a report, milady. Princess Camilla of Nohr is near.”

“O-oh… She really is here.” Corrin swallowed. “Is she alone?”

“Presumably. The spies have not detected the presence of troops anywhere nearby. She is also not in armor, and appears to have no weapon on her.”

“How… strange.”

“Milady,” Kagero said, standing. “I highly advise that you stay put, and let myself and others take care of this.”

“No, no,” Corrin said. “I have to go to her. If she’s here alone, and unarmed as you say… then she just wants to talk.”

“That woman would never come here wanting to just talk!” came Orochi’s voice as she walked towards them, arms crossed. Corrin turned to look at her.

“Orochi… Please, do not speak of her that way. She is still my sister. And I know her better than anyone.”

“Your sister or not, she is a murderer, milady! Nothing good can come of this.”

“I’m afraid I have to agree,” Kagero said. “Please, Lady Corrin. If you must go to her, at least let us accompany you.”

Corrin sighed, feeling outnumbered. “Alright… You two can come with me.”

“I will inform Lord Ryoma of this,” said another voice - Kaze’s. Corrin nodded to him, and he disappeared into the camp.

Corrin made her way to the camp’s outskirts, closely followed by Kagero and Orochi. She could almost feel their eyes stuck to her like glue.

Soon a silhouette began to show itself in the dark of the night. A tall figure with long, wavy hair. Corrin felt her body tense up, her heart rate increase. She heard Kagero reaching for her shuriken.

“No need to bother, my dear,” said Camilla’s soft voice. How she could see that far in the dark was beyond any of the three women coming to her. “I will bring no harm to any of you.” Behind Corrin’s back, Kagero and Orochi glared at her.

As they drew closer, Camilla’s face became apparent by the light of the torches. She was smiling gently, as she always did.

“Camilla…” Corrin called, a mixture of emotions coming through her voice. “I can’t… I can’t believe you’re here.”

“What do you want?” Orochi demanded, not bothering to waste time.

“My, aren’t you a rude child,” Camilla said, like she was chiding her, “Talking over my dear Corrin like that.”

Corrin turned to Orochi, putting a hand up. “Orochi… it’s alright.”

Orochi _tsk’d_ , crossing her arms.

“Hm… Those Hoshidan clothes do fit you quite well, my darling. You look beautiful as always, even wearing those dreadful colors,” Camilla said, her eye taking in the details of Corrin’s Hoshido Noble garment.

Corrin bit her lip. “Camilla… why have you come here?”

“I’d just like to talk to you, dear. That is all. Alone, if your new friends would allow it.”

“Absolutely not,” Kagero immediately declared. “We will not leave Lady Corrin with you unaccompanied.”

Camilla laughed. “My! How little faith in have your _Lady!”_ she said, her tone mocking as she said the word. “Do you truly believe my Corrin is unable to defend herself before an unarmed woman?”

Corrin turned to the women behind her. “Kagero, Orochi, please. It… It’s alright. Just let me talk to her for a while. I have my sword with me, after all. I’ll be fine.”

“Lady Corrin, you can’t possibly-”

“Please,” Corrin repeated. “I… I know Camilla. I think she really does just want to talk to me. We won’t go far… right, Camilla?”

“Anything my darling sister wishes,” Camilla assured, smiling brightly.

Kagero sighs. “If you insist, Lady Corrin. We will be waiting for you nearby.”

Camilla’s face lit up with satisfaction. She turned, expecting Corrin to follow her. Corrin gave a nod of reassurance to Kagero and Orochi before beginning to walk behind Camilla.

Corrin felt the weight of world dragging her down as she followed Camilla towards the woods near the campsite. There were so many emotions brewing inside her, each attempting to overpower the other. She was happy that Camilla had come to talk to her - she’d wanted a chance like that for a long time, after all. She was nervous because she knew how tense things back at camp must have been. She was terrified, because there were so many ways in which it could go horribly, horribly wrong.

Still, she chose to trust Camilla. After all of the pain and anguish her choice had brought to her Nohrian family, Camilla deserved that much.

They came to a stop upon reaching the edge of the woods. For some reason, it seemed fitting. Camilla put her hand against the bark of a tree, letting out a deep sigh.

“You really have grown so much, my darling,” she mused, seeming to stare at the darkness of the trees. “You’ve led such a grand army for so long, and achieved one victory after another. Xander would have been so proud of you.”

Corrin bit her lip again, harder this time. Every word Camilla said felt like another needle stabbing at her gut.

“Camilla, I… I’m so sorry. I know how much pain I have brought to you all. I don’t deserve nor ask for forgiveness, but-”

“We could have been so happy, Corrin,” Camilla interrupted. “We could have been a family. We could have ended the cycle of hatred and violence. We could have saved our kingdom.”

Corrin began to feel tears burning in the corners of her eyes. It was one thing to be aware of the pain she caused, but hearing it from Camilla was another altogether. Still, she steeled herself.

“Camilla… I made the choice that I did because I want to see a free Nohr. The only way to do so, to save its people, is to defeat Garon…”

Corrin trailed off then. She heard something resemblant of laughter.

“Camilla…?”

Camilla turned to face her again, a maniacal smile on her face. “You foolish, foolish girl!” She half-shouted between bursts of laughter. “Have you learning nothing?! What, exactly, is your plan for Nohr once you topple my father, hmm? To have Xander take his place? Can you even be certain that your precious ‘brother’ would allow that? Do you think Hoshido would begin sending wagons full of food as aid? Is that what you think?!”

“Camilla--”

“It would not! If Nohr was even allowed to retain its autonomy following defeat in war, it would take decades to rebuild a nation so torn. Corruption runs rampant among the nobility, Corrin, and Xander and Leo and I had been planning to try to dismantle that. But it’s a slow process, it would take years! Decades!”

Camilla clenched her fist with such force, Corrin could hear the sound of the leather in her glove crushing against itself.

“Killing my father and slaughtering his army will do nothing but leave Nohr even more chaotic, barren, and defenseless. Hoshido has never, and will never do anything to attempt to rectify that. That much, Corrin, I can guarantee you.”

Corrin was crying now. She tried to reach for Camilla’s hand. “But, Camilla, please… I can change that. I have significant influence over Ryoma and his decision-making. I can-”

“YOU CANNOT!” Camilla shouted, slapping Corrin’s hand from hers with enough strength for the blow to hurt, however fleeting it may have been.

“You cannot, Corrin. Whatever has been told to you to make you think that is a lie. Nohr cannot be saved from the outside, _much_ less by Hoshido and its leadership. That you believe otherwise is a testament to your naivete.”

Corrin went quiet after that. In the silence of the woods, all that was heard was the whistle of the leaves being blown by the wind, Camilla’s heavy breaths, and Corrin’s hushed sobs.

Camilla watched her cry for a long moment. Corrin was always so pretty when she cried. Every time she saw her like this in the past, she would hug her and soothe her until the tears stopped.

She sighed, extended out her arm, and pulled Corrin to her. She wrapped her arms around Corrin’s smaller form and held her in a tight embrace. Corrin hugged her back, and her crying intensified. She sobbed loudly onto Camilla’s shoulder, her chest.

Camilla stroked at her hair, like she used to do. “I love you so very, very much, Corrin. You are the most precious thing life has ever given me.”

“But I ruined it! I ruined everything, Camilla!” Corrin wailed, her words hardly discernible, muffled as she was by Camilla’s hold. “I broke you and our siblings’ heart! I failed you, and I failed Nohr!”

Camilla shook her head, somehow holding Corrin tighter. “Shh, shh… Hush now, baby girl. You made a mistake, that’s all. You were just being the darling you always are, wanting to do the right thing.”

Corrin could hardly hear her. The pain she felt was overwhelming her, her senses, her judgment. She forgot everything in that moment, except for how good it felt to be in Camilla’s arms again. The only thing she was reminded of, then, was how she once felt like those strong arms could shield her against all of the evils in the world.

Camilla kissed the top of her head. “My sweet Corrin… My little dove. I’m going to make things right.”

Corrin sniffled, her mind hardly registering the words. “What do you mean…?” she whispered, pulling her wet, messy face away from Camilla’s chest. Through her bleary eyes, she watched Camilla reach into her dress and pull out a sharp, gleaming silver dagger.

Corrin stood there, immobile, as Camilla raised the blade and pressed its side - the fuller - against her cheek. The cold silver felt like ice against her skin.

“Corrin,” Camilla cooed, her voice sweet as honey. “Do you believe me when I say I love you?”

Corrin swallowed hard, trying to speak but feeling like her vocal chords were paralyzed.

Camilla wasn’t holding her body by force. She hugged her, but Corrin could wriggle free if she truly wished. And still, her body remained frozen in place.

“Do you?” Camilla repeated.

“Y-Yes…”

Camilla kissed her forehead. “And do you believe me when I say that I only want the very best for you, and would never do anything to hurt you?”

Corrin nodded slowly.

“I need you to speak, baby girl.”

“Yes… I believe you, Camilla.”

Camilla ran a finger down Corrin’s cheek, then used it to tilt her chin up. “Good… I’m so happy to hear that, Corrin.”

She leaned down then, and kissed Corrin’s lips.

Corrin didn’t move for a long moment, but then her eyes fell closed, and her lips pressed back against Camilla’s. Camilla sighed into her mouth. For just a fleeting second, Corrin's right mind cautioned her against what was happening, but it was like Camilla's lips had pull a spell on her. They were soft, and oh so sweet. The taste of them awoke something deep inside Corrin, something she never knew existed before. 

She parted her lips just so, surrendering her mouth to Camilla. A low sound formed from the back of her throat when Camilla's tongue wound around hers, when teeth tugged gently at her bottom lip. 

Reason escaped Corrin entirely. Nothing existed but Camilla - not the war, not her Hoshidan family, nothing. Her hands reached into Camilla's hair and held onto its tresses. She felt hot despite the chill of the night.

They kissed deeply and harshly. How long it lasted, Corrin didn't know, and she didn't care. She didn't want it to stop, not ever, not --

Her lips suddenly stopped moving. She felt an abrupt, sharp pain somewhere deep, deep inside her. She opened her eyes, separated her mouth from Camilla’s, and found that she tried to breathe, but no oxygen reached her lungs. She tried to call out for Camilla, but her voice didn't manifest.

Then the pain changed into something intense, harsh and burning. Camilla had removed the dagger from her chest. Corrin tried gathering the strength she had left to try to stop Camilla, but it was too late. Camilla plunged the blade, tinged crimson with Corrin's blood, into her own chest; and then violently pulled it out. 

As blood pooled from her chest, and from Camilla's, Corrin’s consciousness quickly began to fade. Right before everything went black, she registered Camilla’s lips kissing her again.

“I love you, Corrin… Everything will be okay now.”  


* * *

 

Kagero, of course, had been following them from the shadows. She bolted to them when she saw what appeared to be the reflection from a sharp metal object, but she was too late. Neither Corrin nor Camilla were breathing by the time she arrived at the scene.

**Author's Note:**

> im not okaaayyyyyyyyy


End file.
